Heartbreaks.

2010-06-26T03:48:00.000-07:00

Can't believe i rot my Saturday off just like this, i nearly went bersek this afternoon.
K, i went insane last night too. I mean, every night i suppose. (:
I went shopping like crazy this few days to keep myself occupied, & am going for another round later in the night.
I needa pack my wardrobe when i reach home later, it's overflooding.
2more days to school reopen, tell me. I can die at this moment right?
Nevermind, gonna drown myself with books & notes. School reopen equals to all my savings back. (Y)

When i think about us now, all i know is that i needa start from, "I miss the times we once.."

Note to self: Stop buying clothes, save up for cosmetics, persuade mum to get eyebrow pierced.

2010-06-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot, the dots will remain only one colour - pink.
However if you stare at the black “+” in the center, the moving dot turns to green.
Now, concentrate on the black “+” in the center of the picture.
After a short period, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see only a single green dot rotating.
It’s amazing how our brain works.
There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don’t disappear.
Proof enough that we don’t always see what we think we see…

2010-06-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

This month is the hardest to pull through, it just seems to be so long to me.
Love is such a strong word.
When we were just little kids, we always thought that love was about hugs, kisses and happiness.
But as we grow older, we’ve also come to realise that love isn’t just about happiness.
It’s also about rejections, tears and riding through the pain the each heartache brings.
For some, they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person.
Most relationships tend to fail. Not because the absence of love.
Love is always present.
It’s just that one was being loved too much and the other wasn’t being loved enough.
I once said that having you was like a dream come true, dreams are not suppose to hurt right?
But i can feel every single punch you gave right onto my heart.
I've learnt that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on.
With or without you, it will be better tomorrow, that's what i've been telling myself.

2010-06-17T11:03:00.000-07:00

K, seriously too lazy to blog ):
2pm now, i wanna sleep but i don't feel like sleeping at the same time..
Watched Karate kid with the 2j(s) today, beat out. Ciaos.

2010-06-13T22:54:00.000-07:00

Been heading down to SBC to watch match these few days, lots of stuffs had happened and it have definitely affected me a lot.
Tired of hearing stories from people around me, i only believe myself for the time being.
I know that you guys are very concerned bout me but.. Its my own matter.
I don't want to pursue this matter anymore, cause i just don't want to.
In dilemma for deciding about things, until i got so sick and tired of it.
Lin told me that, she thought things were fine. I thought so too.
But i was wrong, i assumed that things will get better but instead it got worse.
Whatever i said that day was from the bottom of my heart. And thats the last time i'm gonna handle this thing.
I won't care or get bother by this thing anymore, gonna really wash my hands off this thing. (:

2010-06-11T03:42:00.000-07:00

Currently at Peggy's house, brought my laptop along & did my Chinese homework online.
For the pass 5hours, i did only my Chinese homework. :D
K, going off soon to meet Steffi for pool later on.
The guys are having fun out there at Azzura without me, still i hope that they're enjoying out there. (:
Friendly matches tomorrow, still thinking whether to go.

"Maybe we are meant to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. maybe it is true that we don’t know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don’t know what we have been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives."

2010-06-10T21:48:00.000-07:00

Love blinded.

I guess this would be the last time that i'm mentioning about it, i'm devastated.
You're such a great actor, you planned your script by yourself & act it on your own.
Drop the masquerade, cause i knew every single little thing that you didn't expected me to know.
From the start, you've already started the show. You started the lies, you started everything.
You know those dramas, movies or whatever you call that.
Those bad guys turned out the good ones in the end & the good ones turned out bad.
So i'm part of the good ones turning bad, turning evil, turning so heartless.
I once pinned down all my hopes on you, instead, all i get back is those little shattered pieces of my heart.
I knew who exactly is the girl, what you did, what you told her & who you met & stuffs.
I'm really not that stupid ain't i? I just don't get it why till end of the day you still chosen to lie.
So all along it was just my wishful thinking, hanging on to this relationship that you've already given up.
You told some that you're single, & then another moment you told others that it's just time out.
You told me that if i trusted you i wouldn't have questioned you.
K, so this is all i get after trusting you, after believing that what those people told me is false when it's true.
You made me.. Felt so foolish, so dumb so.. I don't know.

People commented you with those negatives names, i add on to it but at the same time i said positive things bout you.
I believed you did love me wholeheartedly,
the melody colouring book that you filled with colours,
the DIY crystal ball that you have a hard time trying to glue those figurines in it, the teddy bears crystal ball,
the baby piglet that you passed me through the window,
the melody you brought for me at some flower shop,
the melody you gave me during my birthday, the cards you made for me,
the melody you made using cardboards,
the days when you waited me after training/school,
the days when you woke up early in the morning to make breakfast for me and delievered it to my house and sent me to school after that,
the days we used bus tickets to fold paper hearts for each other,
the days when we got so emotional that the both of us cried in front of each other and used our hands to wiped off each other's tears,
the days when you gave me surprises by waiting for me at my house downstairs,
the days when you brought 100plus for me before my training,
the time when you flooded me with your texts when i was at Malaysia,
when you cooked porridge for me when i was sick,
the days when you accompanied me to the doctor when i wasn't feeing well,
and those sweet things you sent me, those sweet things that you whispered into my ear.

I still miss you, for it's going one year we're talking about.
But i'm gonna keep it inside my heart, this will break me and bring me down.
I have to do it, i believe the pain will gradually fade away.
For what i said to you, no one can predict the future.
Maybe someday dramatically we'll be back to sqaure one, back to the feelings we used to have.
I believe what's yours will always be yours, even if you've lost it, it will still come back to you if it's really meant to be.

For what you told others and whatever you told/ did with the girl, i'm gonna let it pass.
That night when i confronted you & those broke up texts & stuffs, i'm gonna remember it.
This is the last time i'm gonna tear for you when i'm typing this, let nature take its course.
Take good care of yourself, still willing to be your good friend. (:

"Promises are meant to be broken." I guess it's true for me now.

2010-06-09T05:07:00.000-07:00

Hi earthlings, back to posting (: Lappy still hospitalized, but will get it fixed soon!
Using desktop now is.. Like kinda weird. (: K, anyway. Yea, i'm alone now.
Broke up yesterday night, when the clock nearly striked 12 i ended it.
So guess it's kinda surprising to some & well some just expected.
I'm sucha great predictor, i can predict the future well!
Well, so i guess i'll just save the explanations cause it's not important right now anyway.
As long as those sweetie pies around me know what's going on, that's enough (:
I wouldn't have to come up with explanations too if next time anyone were to ask me related stuffs about it.

Coach asked me about her last training & i just answered that we couldn't make it anymore.
Well well, i'm not suppose to carry on any further cause i'm actually having very terribly mixed feelings.
Happy, sad, disappointment, furious, everything. Whatever (:

PS; Samantha's gonna open a fanclub soon. :D